Just Say No

It's been a very long week, but thank Goddess it's almost over.

Can I just say that I'm so sick of people trying to manipulate me in order to take advantage of me? Between my neighbor who bursts into tears every time I tell her I can't drive her all over hell and back and my daughter's friend's mother who expects me to drive my daughter 60 miles (both ways-this woman doesn't have a car) to come see her daughter every fucking weekend (without the offer of any gas money) I've had it with people I barely know demanding things from me. With the fibromyalgia, bipolar, arthritis, and agoraphobia, I can barely get my own shit done, let alone run everyone else all over creation.

So yeah, a bit homicidal annoyed. I really need to work on setting boundaries and saying 'no.' That's something that's always been hard for me. If I do manage to say no the first time, it's entirely too easy for someone to manipulate me into saying yes the second time.

What pisses me off though is that I would never ask so much of someone I don't know. These people are strangers to me yet they expect more from me than my bestest girlfriend does. I would never, never expect someone I barely know to run all my errands for me or drive my daughter 60 miles to visit someone ever weekend. It's rude and an imposition. Not to mention that I've explained my situation, both with my car (it's ancient and won't last much longer) and my physical/mental issues, and they just don't care.

So, I guess that means I have to learn to be bitchy and rude tell them no and stick with it, cuz being nice isn't getting me anywhere. Or should I say, it's getting everywhere I don't want to go?

Apparently my therapist has decided that seeing me every 2 weeks isn't enough and now I see her every week. Nothing makes ya feel crazier than having your therapist tell you you need to come in more frequently. But, I don't blame her cuz I have some major issues to work on (like with telling people to piss off setting boundaries) and I was thinking every 2 weeks wasn't enough too. She's an awesome therapist, she's got more degrees than I can count and she's freaking smart as hell, but she's also very warm and welcoming. And we click, which is the most important part.

Sorry if this post has been more boring than usual. I have a migraine today and couldn't think of anything entertaining to write about.

Random Tuesday Fun!

Happy Tuesday to one and all and welcome to my version of Random Tuesday Thoughts, courtesy of Keely @ The Un Mom.

~I received this quote in an email and just had to share:

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than You."

Dr. Seuss

~Apparently my reputation as the 'cool mom' precedes me. My daughter's friend's bf (did you catch that?) was going on and on about how much he loves me and he's never even met me. Get that, I have a rep, ya'll!

~Though I love squash I've never gotten the hang of cooking it. I know it can taste good cuz I've had it when other people have cooked it but somehow when I cook it, it transmogrifies into a stringy, inedible, mutated, gelatinous mass. Even when I use the recipe of someone's squash that I've had and liked I epically fail.

~My favorite Lord of the Rings character is Legolas (so much so that I have several Legolas action figures). But that's only cuz I have a thing for elves and Orlando Bloom makes such a deliciously nummy elf. He played a good pirate too, even though Elizabeth had him so whipped in those movies.

~Marilyn Manson may be uber-creepy, but the man is brilliant and so creative.

~My Drunken Midget forgot to hide her Halloween candy this weekend. Nomnomnom

~My house is halfway clean. Now if only I can get them to finish before it's all the way trashed again.

~When my Midget fed the cat this morning I heard her cry, "It's raining cat food!" When I came out there was indeed cat food all over the living room and dining room floors, though I'm still not clear on why it was raining cat food. When I returned from dropping off the Drunken Midgets at school my cat, Meadow, was sitting in the midst of it all looking very confused like she couldn't figure out why her food wasn't in her dish.

~My youngest Drunken Midget's Facebook status last night read: "going to grandma's for a little while, phew I can get away from my crazy house." I hate to break it to her but she is a big part of the crazy around here. And can I just ask, where do I get to go to escape this crazy house??

~Is it strange to say that all the crazy keeps me sane? As they say, "In a mad world, only the mad are sane."

~I've always loved those really big goldfish with the googly eyes. I used to have an aquarium with four of them in it, decorated with river rocks and live plants. It was beautiful and relaxing to look at but I just couldn't keep up with cleaning it and all that. Did you know that keeping a pair of goldfish is supposed to bring you wealth and prosperity?

~I once put a crab from my aquarium down my garbage disposal cuz I thought it was dead (don't ask me why I didn't flush it, that's a long story filled with lots of stupidity on my part, either that or I was really stoned at the time) and then later learned it was still alive. What a way to come out of hibernation! I feel guilty about it to this day.

~In 2003 I started writing a novel and finished about 1/3 of it but had to set it aside due to writer's block. I'm going to dust that off today and start reading through it to see if any inspiration comes.

~My cat is licking my toes. Yuck.

And on that note, I'm outta here!

Fun, Fun, Fun...or Not

Yes, I have no Drunken Midgets tonight. And no, their chores are still not done. Yet, I could no longer take the arguing and screaming over the completion of said chores and basically told them to get the fuck out of the house before I lost it. Ok, so I said it a lot more nicely than that, but still. I'm sure that their evil plan all along was to make me crazier and crazier until I finally told them to leave in complete exasperation but whatever. At this point I don't even care. And I have my own evil plan a hatching anyway. If they don't want to pick up their stuff, well it seems to me they don't need to have stuff. So, if they push me much more I'm packing it all up in bags and throwing it out. Then, they will have no stuff so there will be no need to argue over chores.

Except I'm a softie and probably won't be able to bring myself to do that, so I'll have to come up with something else to get this house clean. But I'll figure out something. I'm resourceful and creative. I still like the idea of throwing all their stuff away but that's cuz I'm still very infuriated right now. Somehow it just seems easier to give them to the gypsies.

So, now I have this big knot at the base of my neck that is causing me extreme pain and I call it, "Little Drunken Midgets."

So yeah, I'm all alone and just finished watching the first Blade movie. It was pretty good. I'm not going to say phenomenal or anything, but it was good. I'm glad I own it, so it's all good. I'm not sure if I'll watch the second one next or if I'll watch Chaos. I'm kinda movied out for the moment. I can't sit still that long and the thought of sitting there for another 2+ hours makes me want to scream very loudly. So, here I am blogging.

And, I just have to say that I really like the word fuck. Fuck. Fucking. Fucktard. Fuckwit. For fuck's sake. I don't know, but it's just a great all purpose word no matter how you use it.

It's going to be time to decorate for Yule soon! I'm so very thrilled about that! I bought a mini snowman the other day that has LED lights in it so it lights up all different colors. I can't wait to put it out!

And I also have to say that it was over 60 degrees here today. In November. In Minnesota. WTF? Who authorized that? Certainly not me! It should be much, much colder. And snowing. It's not freaking September people. I've been waiting for winter for far too long, where is it already?

I got to see my eldest nephew yesterday (the youngest was sleeping by the time I arrived) and he was cracking me up. My sister-in-law was pumping milk for the baby and my nephew threw his arms up in the air and cried out, "Mama's makin' milk!!" at the top of his lungs. It was hilarious. Then he was just tearing through the house screaming, "Alllll right!" and high fiving everyone. He was so excited to see me and my youngest. He is just so adorable, there are not words to describe it. I missed him so much, I wish I could see him more. And of course my baby nephew too. He's getting so big and I haven't seen him in forever. I can't wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas so I can see them longer.

Ok, well, I suppose I've bored you all long enough so I'll go for now. But first I leave with with this video by Union Underground.

Some Blather and Happy Hour Friday

Yes, it is Happy Hour Friday, but I'm not sure if I will get to that today, it depends on how long this post ends up being. I might have to do it tomorrow.

What a day I had yesterday! One of the Drunken Midgets and I got into a huge fight over chores and she ended up going to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's last night so we didn't kill each other. Ok, so that's a bit over dramatic, but needless to say I think it's a good idea we weren't in the same house last night. Have I mentioned lately how much I just love adolescence? And how thankful I am that she can go stay with my parent's when necessary?

Thank Goddess I did my Full Moon ritual the other night or I'd be a wreck today. It was a lovely ritual, a gratitude ritual, and even though I was interrupted by Midgets and cats several times, it was still beautiful. There's nothing like doing a ritual with your Midgets knocking at the door and the cat scratching and meowing pitifully at the door to get in and dig through your herbs and burn himself on the candles. hehe

Speaking of cats and candles, I had a cat that walked by a candle on the table and all the hair on her ass WHOOSHED into flames. Thankfully she wasn't hurt at all, and because she wasn't I was able to LMAO about it. It was the funniest thing, I've never seen cat fur ignite so quickly before (not that I'm in the habit of igniting cat fur), all of a sudden it was just ASS FIRE! It went out as quickly as it ignited, so like I said, she wasn't hurt, but it was hilarious.

I'm very excited, I have some new movies to watch. Well, not totally new, I've seen two of them before but had to buy them cuz I had a coupon with my Best Buy Rewards. So, I picked out War with Jet Li and Jason Statham (which I've seen and is excellent), Chaos with Wesley Snipes and Jason Statham (also fantastic), X-Men Origins: Wolverine with Hugh Jackman, and the Blade movies with Wesley Snipes. I got a damn good deal on them with my coupon and was very pleased with my purchases. I might actually get another night to myself this weekend if the Drunken Midgets do their chores and are allowed to leave the house, so I'm planning to watch them then. I can't wait!

And, here is my Happy Hour Friday after all. Don't forget to stop by to see Otin!


Spending money makes me happy! But only when it's spent on fun stuff like books or movies etc.

Caribou chocolate Coffee Coolers and White Chocolate Mochas make me happy! Nummy!

Hot chocolate with buttered toast during a blizzard makes me happy. My mom used to make that for me when I came in from playing in the snow when I was a kid and it still makes me feel warm and cozy.

Chocolate in general makes me very happy! They say that the endorphins or whatever that are released when you eat chocolate are the same ones that are released during sex. No wonder I need to lose weight!

Being told by my kids that I'm the 'cool mom' and all their friends love me makes me ecstatic!

And that's my Happy for today, I have to get the Drunken Midgets off to school now.

Laters!

Adult Product Review

As I mentioned in an earlier post I was asked to do a product review for an adult toy. This post is that review, so if this isn't your thing you might want to come back tomorrow. But, if you are in the market for a new toy, I encourage you to read on cuz this just might be the toy for you!

Now, this is my first product review, so just keep that in mind as you read. I'm hoping that I did the product justice.

So, someone from Sex Toys Store contacted me and asked me if I'd be willing to do a review of one of their products. As I have been in the market for a new toy, I was more than happy to oblige. After checking out their site I chose the Dual Stimulator Rabbit Vibrator.
After contacting them I receiving an email saying my product would be shipped shortly and I eagerly awaiting its arrival. Though I expected it to take about a week I received it in 2 days, which was a nice surprise. When I first opened it, I was slightly disappointed because it was just a bit smaller than I expected though not by much. (I didn't read the product description on their site thoroughly enough, going back now I see that they do state how big it is) But, I didn't let that deter me as size isn't necessarily everything, which definitely turned out to be the case with this vibrator. After opening it I also noticed that the plastic was very soft and supple, much more so than vibrators I have purchased in the past.

I was also very pleased to note that this vibrator only requires 2 AA batteries, which will cut my battery budget in half as my old vibrator took four. So, once I threw in the batteries I took this baby for a test drive, and can I just say WOW!! This vibrator packs a lot of punch, so to speak. The dual stimulation is amazing and the plastic is so soft and flexible it's easy to forget it's a toy and not the real thing. And I just have to say that those vibrating ears totally rock! Talk about intense! Additionally, with a simple twist this Rabbit offers three levels of vibration, a must have on any vibrator. And even more fun, it's waterproof so you can take it in the shower or bath.

All in all this is a delightful toy. It's extremely pleasurable and quite economical at only $29.99. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to add this beauty to my collection.

Maybe Not-So-Random Tuesday Thoughts

Ah yes, it is Tuesday again and you all know what that means! Random Tuesday Thoughts courtesy of Keely at The Un Mom! Join us in our randomness by heading to her blog and grabbing the badge.

~I did not get to my ritual on Saturday, which bummed me out to no end and I've been feeling out of sorts ever since. Last night was a Full Moon, another ritual I did not do. Since I'm feeling very depressed, agitated and disconnected I'm doing a Full Moon ritual tonight. The energies are available the day before and the day after the Full Moon as well as the day of, so I'm not too late.

~If you're looking for a good book of rituals, check out Circle, Coven & Grove by Deborah Blake. She has some fantastic rituals in that book. They are meant for groups but are very easily adapted to Solitary work if you're not a member of a coven. That book is where I get most of my rituals.

~Though I did not do my ritual, I did, however, manage to leave a plate of food out for any spirits that happened to wander by. I might want to bring that in soon. I forgot about it until now. Luckily it's been cold or I'd have a nasty surprise awaiting me on my deck.

~I picked up a couple books at Amazon on Wiccan spirituality. It will be a nice reprieve from all the Wicca 101 books I have. I wanted something that went more in depth, beyond just spell casting and correspondences so I bought The Circle Within by Dianne Sylvan and Spirit of the Witch by Raven Grimassi. I haven't read any of Sylvan's books before, but I've enjoyed Grimassi's other books. They both look very good.

~But first I have to finish reading the Dragonlance books by Weis and Hickman. I'm on the 3rd book in the Chronicles Trilogy, Dragons of the Spring Dawning. Then it's onto the War of the Souls Trilogy unless I read the Legends Trilogy first. I adore these books. When reading them I laugh, I cry, and turn each page breathless with anticipation of what will happen next even though I've read them before. The characters are so real and so believable, not to mention endearing, and the writing is simply amazing. Dragonlance is my favorite series.

~Another good series is Tales of the Otori by Lian Hearn. The original trilogy includes Across the Nightingale Floor, Grass for His Pillow, and Brilliance of the Moon. Talk about amazing writing and a gripping, suspenseful plot. It's definitely another fantastic series worth checking out. I think I'll have to put those on my to-read-again list very soon.

K, well, that's enough for now. It seems that my thoughts were not so random and there was a general book theme today, but it's what I got.

Laters!

P.S. I finally responded to the comments on Saturday's post, sorry it took me so long, I've been feeling rather blah and blech and other noises I can't spell.

Samhain Plans & a Lavender and Sully Night

Happy Samhain/Halloween all! Yes, it is my favorite night of the year, the night when the veil between the worlds is the thinnest and the spirits of our ancestors roam the streets.

I will have no Drunken Midgets tonight. They will be off with friends and I will have the house to myself. Thus, I have a ritual waiting for me. I am missing some ingredients but if I can't get to the store I can probably improvise on that one. I'm looking forward to my ritual. I need to commune with the Goddess and God and refresh and renew. And afterwords I plan to do a little divination with my Tarot cards as this is the best night of the year for that. I'm hoping to have the energy to do a Celtic Cross spread (10 cards) and find out what the year ahead has planned for me. I might even pull out my Runes.

So yeah, I'm excited.

Additionally, as is traditional for Witches at this time of year, I plan to leave out a plate of food for any of my ancestors that happen by on their ghostly haunts. The pork chops in my fridge need to be made anyway as they will rot if they aren't cooked tonight, so I'll have a nice dinner and leave some for my ancestors or any other spirits that happen by.

So, what does everyone out in cyberspace have planned for tonight? Trick or Treating? Handing out candy? Partying hard with lots of liquor? Share with us your Halloween plans!

Last night was a lavender and Godsmack night. I won't go into details cuz, well, they are boring and inane and disturbing, but needless to say that I remembered last night why I have a tendency to hate people so much. By 8 I was incredibly upset and knew I needed Godsmack and lavender to make it all go away. So I crawled into my PJs, lit some lavender and sage incense and put Godsmack on repeat on the iPod. I feel much better today. Lavender and Sully can make anything better.

I hope that everyone has a fantastic-and safe-Samhain/Halloween!

So Lost and Happy Hour Friday!

I had all kinds of things I was going to blog about this morning, but forgot them all by the time I sat down at the puter. Damn it. I hate that.

Finally I was able to make coffee today. I've been out of creamer for several days and couldn't get to the store. Since it makes me nauseous to drink it black I've just gone without. You can imagine how fun I've been to be around without my coffee. Especially considering the day and night I had on Wednesday.

So, I come home on Wednesday afternoon and head straight to the computer. I did my online stuff and then putsed around the house, did some cleaning, etc. Well, I went to leave for the grocery store and I couldn't find my keys. They weren't by the puter liked I assumed they would be since that's where I went as soon as I walked in the door. Ok, no problem, they go missing a lot, we'll just look a little harder and they'll turn up. So we looked a little harder. And a little harder. Then a little harder after that. Pretty soon we were tearing shit up like crazy. (Like my house wasn't messy enough) I mean it was almost comical, shit was flying through the air with great velocity as we searched frantically.

After two hours of searching I gave up, somehow knowing they just weren't going to turn up that day. So, by now I've had no coffee and I can't leave my house cuz it's my only set of keys. It wasn't pretty. I ended up locking myself in my room so I wouldn't take it out on anybody who didn't deserve it. Oh how I wished I could find somebody who did deserve it and just let loose on them. (Yes, I know I should have a spare set. It's been on my list of things to do forever. It just moved to the top of the list)

So then Thursday morning rolls around. I search and search some more and decide to open up the hide-a-bed one more time. I don't see them so I keep searching elsewhere. Then I happened to walk by the couch again and saw shiny metal poking out from under the couch. My heart stopped, pregnant with hope, I bent down, and hallelujah, there they were!! I have never been so happy to see my keys in my life. It was as though I'd just found the holy freaking grail. I must have tossed them onto the couch on the way to the puter and they fell into the hide-a-bed. If I hadn't found them it would have cost hundreds of dollars to replace them. For the record, that's hundreds of dollars I don't have.

And now that I've bored you to tears with my tale, it's time for Happy Hour Friday!!

If you'd like to participate in Happy Hour Friday, head over to Otin and check out his post and links.

These are the things that make me happy this week:

~Having keys!!

~Coffee with French Vanilla creamer makes me happier than words can proclaim (and much more pleasant to be around)

~Green Day makes me happy. I'm listening to Jesus of Suburbia right now. ("Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed?")

~Halloween/Samhain makes me happy! I have a ritual I have to look over one more time so I can perform it while the Drunken Midgets are out doing their Halloween stuff.

~I'm always happy when I come home from the grocery store and have a kitchen full of groceries.

~Daylight savings time in the fall makes me happy. It will officially be dark by 5 p.m. as of Sunday.

~The coming of winter makes me so happy. Yes, I hate it cuz it makes my fibromyalgia and arthritis worse, but that is so made up for by how much I love the snow and cold weather!

~Christmas coming makes me happy. I hate shopping but I love giving presents and seeing my family.

Yes, some of my happys I have posted before but I'm very tired this morning. So, that's my happy for today!

Notes from the Disaster Area

My house is a mess. Just had to say that cuz it's bugging the hell out of me and there's only so much I can do to keep it clean.

*sigh*

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate cleaning? Some people don't mind it. To me, it's the bane of my existence. I would rather be forced to chew my foot off to free myself from a bear trap than clean. But, we have a very clear cut chore assignment here. I do the kitchen and my bedroom. One Drunken Midget does the living room and the other does the bathroom and hallways and we just shut their bedroom door and pretend there aren't scary science experiments lurking under the bed creating new stuperviruses.

Yes, the Swine Flu is probably our fault. It likely crept out from my Drunken Midgets' closet or from under their bed. But, I choose my battles very carefully and as long as all the dishes and food are out of their room it's their bane to deal with, not mine. I'm not the one that has to risk my life tripping over everything to find stuff so whatever.

The problem is that no one has been doing their chores but me. Oh, there have been oodles of fun excuses flying around. "I had too much homework" which was uttered after a night of frolicking on Facebook. Then of course, the eldest is pulling the Mono card. "I'm too tired to clean, and btw I'm going out to to get some food with my friends." Ok then. And, there's my personal favorite, "I was dead at the time." Ok, we stole that from Eddie Izzard, but it's still pretty fucking funny.

Needless to say, the kitchen is clean but the rest of the house is a freaking disaster area. Now I have to put my foot down and start grounding or taking away the puter or phones or something, if the phones haven't permanently fused to the flesh of their fingers from all the txting they do (Yeah, one child sent over 2,000 txts last month. WTF?). Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't they just clean when I ask them to? *stomps feet, whines, pouts, and throws fit*

Ok, onto less annoying and whiny things.

Yes, I'm posting another vid, just cuz I love music. And I love Incubus, which is the band that sings this song. It's an oldie but a goodie. This is not the official vid, that one has embedding disabled (those bastards, I hate it when they do that) so I chose this one that some dude made by taking their vid and adding some concert footage. Enjoy!

Some Awesome Vids

If you're a lookin' for my Random Tuesday Thoughts, scroll down to the next post. I had to take the opportunity (I have some extra time before I have to pick up my Drunken Midget this afternoon cuz she's doing photography club after school today) to post a couple of vids that I love.

The first one is 'In One Ear' by Cage the Elephant, who is now one of my fav bands. And that's saying a lot since most of my fav bands are metal (Godsmack, Mudvayne, Slipknot, System of a Down, etc.) and Cage the Elephant is alternative rock. But, I fell in love with their song No Rest for the Wicked and once I heard their whole album on iTunes, our love affair was complete. This is my fav vid by them...






This next song I heard on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. The vid isn't the best, but it's the best I could find for the song. This has to be one of the naughtiest songs I've ever heard. I wish I had a vid with the lyrics, but they aren't too hard to understand if you listen closely.