Hiccuping Puter, Beliefs of Convenience, Court Again, and Inspections

My puter is acting up again. I couldn't open Firefox for 2 days and now I can't open iTunes. I really need a new puter. This is growing tiresome. I've done everything I know how to do to fix it and it's just not cooperating with me. I even threatened it with a baseball bat but I think it has a death wish and was not deterred by me brandishing the metal bat in its face, threatening to pound it into little tiny pieces if it didn't start working properly. *sigh*

So, for those of you who did not know, Anne Rice became a Christian a while ago, going from Vampire Queen to Jesus Freak. Well, now she has renounced Christianity, saying "I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life."

Though in renouncing Christianity she still claims to be a faithful follower of Christ. I'm not sure how that works. I mean, pretty much the only way to know Christ is through the Bible, which is obviously the book that Christianity is based upon, and the Bible is extremely sexist and anti-gay, among other things. I mean, really, don't even get me started. So, if you're going to believe what is said about Christ being god and all that, don't you have to believe everything else too? Too many people pick and choose what they want to believe according to what is convenient for them. If the Bible is the inspired word of god, than that's what it is, all the way through. At least that's my opinion, which is why I'm no longer a Christian. I just can't believe that a lot of what is written in the Bible came from a loving god. Granted there are the Gnostic Gospels and such, but they're pretty much fringe material that sways far away from the Bible's message, from what I've read anyway.

I mean, I know a guy who was upset cuz his brother was getting divorced, and according the the Bible going to hell, but this same guy was having premarital sex with his gf, which is also a hell-worthy offense. The Bible says ALL fornicators are going to hell. Not all fornicators who don't believe in Jesus, ALL fornicators. So, how can he condemn his brother for getting a divorce when he is fornicating his little brains out? I mean, come on. Doesn't the Bible say to not worry about the speck in your brother's eye while you ignore the log in your own? And that's a rhetorical question, cuz I know it says that, I've read it.

So, yeah, believing according to his convenience. But, it's not my place to judge, nor is that my intent, my whole point is just that I don't understand how people can pick and choose what they believe out of a book that is supposed to be the word of god all the way through.

But now I shall hop down off my soapbox. And hopefully I haven't offended too many people. :) Or maybe hopefully I have, after all, it makes ya think, doesn't it? And I don't think any belief should ever go unexamined and taken on blind faith. Even Christ told his disciples to follow and see for themselves before they made a commitment to him.

So I have court again on Monday, mediation to determine whether my loser ex should get joint legal custody, every other weekend visitation, every other holiday, and 2 weeks in the summer. I think that's asking for a lot considering that he was violently abusive and he hasn't seen her for 14 years. I think the judge would laugh in his face if our case failed in mediation and actually went before the courts. Not to mention that my Midget doesn't even want to see him that much. She wants to get to know him but she wants to take it much more slowly. She thinks he's asking for too much too fast. So, I'll be bringing that up in mediation for sure. My loser ex keeps saying this should be her decision, well let's see him put his money where his mouth is when her decision doesn't coincide with his wishes.

Our apartment inspection is coming up on the 16th and we have to finish up some cleaning so that management can come in and fix some stuff that's wrong before the actual inspection. There's not too much left to do, except my Midget has to clean her bedroom which is so scary I'm afraid to walk past it when the door is open cuz I might get sucked into a vortex of chaos and disorder. I forget what color her carpet is cuz I haven't seen it in so long; there's clothes and crap everywhere. She'll have fun with that I'm sure. All I have left to do is clean the bathroom and my bedroom, neither of which are too messy, thank Goddess.

K, well, I'm off.

Laters

Some Stuff

Hello all! I hope everyone out there in cyberspace is doing well. I'm finally feeling much better. Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes and birthday wishes. I finally had a chance to answer the comments on my last couple posts and later on today I plan to catch up on my blog reading. I'm so very behind on that.

Speaking of my birthday, it was very nice. I went out to dinner at Applebees with my rents and my Drunken Midgets. It was very lovely. I received season 4 of Psych, and a gift card to Barnes and Noble. I was very thrilled about that. I had a fantastic steak, and was able to spend time with my family, all in all it was a great birthday.

Took my car in yesterday to Affordable Auto and apparently the dealer was wrong, I did not need new brakes yet nor were any of my bearings loose like they said when I went in for my oil change. Though, there were other things wrong with it, but only one thing needed to be fixed right away, and that was under $200. I was much relieved. I just may be able to get that tattoo with my renter's rebate after all. Though, maybe not since I recently lost $850 a month in child support when my daughter graduated. I may need that money to live on for a while.

My youngest Drunken Midget spent 2 hours cleaning the other night, thank Goddess. I'd already cleaned once and then she trashed it again, and it was mostly her stuff that was all over the house. But now it's (mostly) clean, which is good. I just have to clean the bathroom, vacuum, and pick up my room, but that won't take long. As thrilled as I am that she cleaned, I wish she'd be better about picking up her stuff from day-to-day instead of cleaning for two hours straight once every six months. I'm quite tired of picking up after her, I'm so not her maid.

Well, I'd better end here, I have an appointment in a bit.

Laters!

Never Mind

You'll have to forgive me for not answering comments and catching up on blogs in a timely manner. I caught a wicked cold after I got out of the hospital and wasn't feeling up to doing anything blog or computer related. But I'll be working on that tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow I have to take my car in to get the brakes and a bearing done, which totally robs me of my tattoo money. I was going to get a tattoo of really cool Hawaiian flowers on my ankle, but now I have to fix my car, so, that sucks. Totally.

I'm trying to type this post from my netbook and. I keep making mistakes cuz the keyboard is so small and my fingernails are so long and it's really starting to piss me off.

K, well I just can't do this from this puter anymore so I'm out of here.

Loving Some Green Day

Ok, if you haven't read my last post, go read it pullleeeeeze. Then come back and watch this vid cuz it's totally my theme song!!! Except for the smoking my inspiration part cuz I quit doing that long ago. And can I just say that Billie Joe Armstrong is so very, very sexy? Ok, well even if you don't agree, I said it anyway.

Oh My Kidney

Wow, it's been a week since I posted here. And I missed Random Tuesday Thoughts. Again. But, I have a valid excuse as I was in the hospital for a few days due to a kidney infection. But, I'm home now and though I'm not at 100% quite yet, I'm feeling much better.

In other news, I have so much to do today. Phone calls to make, cleaning to do. I'm not feeling particularly motivated to do any of it, but I have to get it done. Especially the cleaning as someone from my visiting nurse agency is coming out to get my weekly nurse visits up and running again now that I'm out of the hospital. So it has to be extra clean and shiny. Though at this point I'd just settle for presentable.

Did I mention how much I hate cleaning? And how I hate getting my Drunken Midget to clean even more? Arrgh! It is not pretty getting her to do her chores, especially since her chores pretty much include the entire house right now cuz she's the one leaving her shit lying around everywhere. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

But that is neither here nor there. Nor is it particularly interesting.

Not that my life is all that interesting anyway. But, I'm ok with that. Boring is better than drama, and Goddess knows I've had enough of that lately.

The Full Moon is coming up on the 26th (Monday), which also happens to be my birthday. I really have to get a ritual together for that. I was born on a Full Moon too, during an eclipse even. I'm hoping to get a nice burst of energy for the FM, I really need it right about now.

I am very, very behind on my blog reading, but I'm hoping to try and catch up this weekend if I can find the time.

Later...

Well, I got about half my cleaning done and some of the Drunken Midget's stuff done too. Did I mention that I would rather stab myself in the eye with a shrimp fork than clean? Of course, since I don't own a shrimp fork (I'm allergic to seafood) I guess that leaves the cleaning.

Well, I'm off to finish.

Laters!

Absolutely Glorious

Have I mentioned lately that life is good? Oh yes, it is. I'm feeling fantastic now that I've decompressed from court and the rest of my busy week. And I'm kinda in the mood to kick some ass. Too bad I'm all crippled and shit but I could probably beat someone right good with my cane. LOL

Ok, so I would never beat anyone, but I've been watching season 3 of Burn Notice and that show always makes me wish I could kick some major ass. And btw am I the only one that watches shows like Burn Notice and CSI partly to see how NOT to get caught and how to survive on the run should I ever decide to start some mayhem? I'm just sayin'.

In other news, I have this spider in my room. Now, spiders are actually lucky and can bring you money (if you don't kill them) and can bring inspiration to writers. So, when I saw this spider making a web in the windowsill in my bedroom I made a deal with it. I told it if it stayed in my windowsill and left me alone I wouldn't go all kamikaze on its ass. And it was all good for a few weeks until yesterday when I was lying in bed listening to Marilyn Manson and I saw it crawling on my pillow. On my pillow!!! We had a deal! So I took a book, cuz I'm never far from a book, and I try to squish it and the fucker jumps right at my face! Oh, yeah, now it's on! I tried to squish it several more times but it managed to make it to the edge of my mattress so I just kept shoving the book down further and further until I couldn't see it anymore. Granted, I didn't win the battle but I have my eye out for that bastard and I will win the war. Unless I end up swallowing it in my sleep. Then I guess we both lose.

Did you know that everyone swallows a certain number of spiders in their sleep every year? Yupp. I'm not lyin'. They just crawl right into your mouth and you suck em in. I've heard/read that in several sources. The number of spiders swallowed quoted varies from as low as 3 to as high as 15, but I'm sayin' that any spider I swallow in my sleep is just nasty, I don't care how many there are. It makes a girl never want to sleep again.

My birthday is coming up on the 26th, I'll be 38, and as much as most women don't like to admit their age, I'm totally ok with it. So I'm getting older, so does everyone else. BFD. Of course, once I hit 50 I may change my tune, but I'll wait till that happens to see. And yes, I'm getting gray, but I'm ok with that too. I dye my hair black once in a while cuz I like it, but I'm not too worried about what my hair looks like either. I mean, really, if someone doesn't like me cuz of how I look on the outside, that's not really someone I care to get to know anyway. Actually, I'd really like to put purple streaks in my hair, but until I lose some weight I just don't think I can pull it off. And my mother would have a cow, but I guess I'm ok with that too. She had a bit of a cow after my first tattoo too and I didn't let that stop me from getting another.

Speaking of age, I have a relative who shall remain nameless that lies to her daughter about how old she is cuz she thinks her daughter's friends will make fun of her for having such an old mother. As much as I love her, I think that's hilarious. But, maybe that's only cuz among all my Midget's friends I'm the young mom (and the cool mom) so maybe I shouldn't laugh so hard at her.

Yes, I'm just babbling now, but I'm also ok with that.

Have I mentioned that life is good?

K, well, I'm off to listen to some Chili Peppers and then watch some more Burn Notice.

Laters!

Surviving Court

Just an update on my court appearance yesterday. It was ok. I faced my abuser for the first time in years and that felt good. I wanted to stab him in the eye with my ball point pen, but I refrained. Too many witnesses. (See the Disclaimer on my sidebar) Both he and his wife were extremely friendly to me. That was a bit unnerving, and made me slightly nauseous. His wife went so far as to assure me that nothing would happen to my daughter 'in her house, she wouldn't allow it.' However since I don't know her from Adam that wasn't very reassuring to me. She could be some psycho for all I know. I mean, she did marry an alcoholic abuser. He claims he's changed and he would never hurt her, yet he doesn't realize that you can abuse someone without laying a hand on them, but beyond that, if he was violent before the potential for violence is still there.

I did agree to do mediation to try to resolve 'our issues' without the courts, but I don't know how much help that will be. I'm regretting agreeing to that now. He wants joint legal custody and I don't want him to have that, after not seeing her for 14 years I don't think he has the right to that. I'm willing to give him visitation, but only cuz my daughter really wants to get to know him, but I don't want him having the right to make decisions in her life. Not after abandoning her for 14 years. And considering the fact that he beat me all through my pregnancy, with no regard for the child growing in my womb, if I had my way, he wouldn't have any contact with her at all. It's only for her that I'm agreeing to any visitation.

The only thing that really pissed me off is that they followed me after court pestering me to let them see her before the next court date, right in front of my daughter. His wife is very pushy and I hate pushy people (she even convinced the court to let her be there in the mediation even though the law says only the people on the court order can be there). And of course he started in on his old refrain, "It's all up to our daughter." No, it's not. She has a say, but it is not her decision. The whole point of this court proceeding is cuz we can't agree on visitation, why would I let them see her before we resolved it in court?

Did I mention I hate pushy people?

Anyway, I got through it and I don't have to go back again until August 2nd so that gives me a little breathing room. It will be easier to face him again now that I've done it once, even if I have to deal with her pushy-ass too.

I want to say thank you to all my readers for all the support you've given me. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you.

Some of This, Some of That

Today is the day. I have court today. Well, I guess we have court today. My Drunken Midget was all fine with not going with me today cuz it's only a preliminary hearing and I don't think she should go until I get a better feel for how things will proceed, especially considering how emotionally unstable she's been lately. I told her there would probably be other court dates and she could come then and she was fine with it. Until she talked to her 'father' last night, who apparently really wants her to go. Of course, since he can't be bothered to drive down here just to see her, seeing her when he already has to be down here is very convenient for him. And he's all about things being convenient for him. It's so nice that he's putting himself and his desires above what's best for her. *insert sarcasm here* Of course he has no idea what's best for her cuz he hasn't seen her for 14 years and he's making no attempt to find out. So anyway, after talking to him she was all belligerent about it and when she gets something in her head there's no stopping her. Like I'm not enough of a wreck without adding her volatility into the mix.

So my Midget comes up to me the other day and says "I'll do my chores if you let me do my experiment. It takes about a week but doesn't require any supplies or effort on your part." So naturally I ask her what her experiment is, cuz you know, that's my job, and she says, "I want to determine whether or not it is humanely possible for a person to become nocturnal."

*crickets*

Ummm ok then. So basically that means she wants to stay up all night and then spend the entire day sleeping on my couch.

Of course, let's keep in mind that we are on day number four of the 'nocturnal experiment' and she has yet to do her chores. In fact not only has she not done her chores, she has made a bigger mess.

*sigh*

So we have this parakeet and recently she started laying eggs. Now, she doesn't have a mate so no babies will come of this endeavor. So far she's laid about ten eggs and we kept taking them out of the cage, much to her vicious displeasure, and throwing them away. But she kept laying them. So I did some research online and it said that it's not good for them to lay too many eggs cuz it depletes them of calcium and as long as you keep taking the eggs out of the cage they will keep laying more. So we left this last batch of eggs in her cage and she has been lying on them in an attempt to hatch them.

It's actually kind of sad cuz she is guarding them so vehemently (seriously, if we get to close to the cage she goes all Alfred Hitchcock on us) and they will never hatch. But, I'm not quite sure as to when I should take the eggs out, cuz eventually I'll have to. I can't leave them in there forever. So, I'm kinda at a loss as to what to do, so if anyone out there has any parakeet/egg laying advice, I'd really appreciate it.

I'm very excited, my eldest Midget is coming over for dinner tomorrow night. Yay! I haven't seen her much since she moved in with her bf and I'm thrilled that she's coming over. We'll be having BBQ'd chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies. Mmmm yummy.

Well, I'm off to make last minute preparations for court. Wish me luck!

Laters!

New Moon (Not Twilight), Quiet Weekend, and Sleeping Midgets

I can't believe it's a New Moon tonight and I wasn't even aware until just now. Bummer. I have no ritual ready and there's so much to do today that I doubt I'll be up to doing anything but falling into bed tonight. Maybe I'll try to do something small. I've been so wrapped up in the craziness that I haven't attended to my spiritual side for a while. Last night I burned some incense and prayed to Kali and even that small act of devotion lifted my spirits, at least for a bit. I feel weak and defeated, I need a burst of spiritual energy to fulfill me and sustain me, especially with court coming up this week.

Other than that, not much going on here. It's been a pretty quiet weekend, though I haven't gotten much done other than to try to catch up on my episodes of Burn Notice. I hate that I have to wait another year for the 4th season to come out on DVD. But, Psych comes out on Tuesday, and though I won't be able to afford it my birthday is coming up soon, so maybe I'll receive it as a gift.

I did manage to get some cleaning done, but not enough to make much of a dent in the mess. But, I'll be waking up the Drunken Midget soon and putting her to work. So between the two of us we can make some progress. Hopefully she won't freak out about it too much, cuz I'm just done with being freaked out at. But, I let her sleep until 1:00 in the afternoon, so she'd better appreciate it. I wish I could sleep that late!

K, well, I guess that's all I have to say.

Laters!

Say What?

Hello all. I'm feeling much better now, thanks to everyone for their well-wishes. The Midgets had a great time up at the cabin and I had a very relaxing weekend. I spent it laying around recuperating and watching some Burn Notice, then I started back with the first season of Buffy. It's kind of a good thing I got sick when I did cuz if my youngest had been home she would have been bored out of her mind with me not being able to do anything but run to the bathroom every half hour. I did miss spending time with my family though.

So, I finally go to court next week with my ex over visitation. I'm absolutely petrified. But, I have someone from the county coming with me, she's not a lawyer but will be there for emotional support. And my therapist has been so awesome too, she even scheduled an appointment for me the day before court so I can get some extra support. So that's all good. Still, my anxiety has been raging and I'm kind of a wreck about it all. But, I'll get through it. I always do.

I just can't wait until it's over.

In other news I have been incredibly busy doing this and that and making phone calls. I have major cleaning to do as well. It seems like every time I get the house in order the Midget destroys it within ten minutes. Then when I tell her to pick up after herself she screams at me that she's tired of doing 'everything.' All I expect is that she does her one chore, which is to pick up the living room every day (she's decided that it's her bedroom despite the fact that she has a whole room to herself now that her sister moved out), pick up after herself, and go to the grocery store with me once a week or once every two weeks. She always bitches that she does so much when really she does her chores maybe once a week if I'm extremely lucky. It's getting rather old. She way over exaggerates her duties around the house and mostly spends her time hanging out with friends, lying around doing nothing, or making a mess. She makes a mess and then has the audacity to tell me to pick it up if it bothers me so much.

Divas Teenagers. Jeesh.

I'm ready to take the advice of one of my reader's and bag it all up and throw it in the trash.

Of course I told her one time a while ago that I was going to throw away anything she left lying out, so she put away everything she wanted to keep then left all the dishes, garbage, old clothes and shoes she didn't want anymore (which were all lying around in my living room), etc. etc. etc. for me to deal with. That wasn't exactly what I had intended by that.

*sigh*

I read somewhere that raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree and it is so true. Of course, they forget to mention the part where you end up driving about six nails through your thumb in the attempt.

K, well, I think I've bitched long enough. If you managed to make it all the way through to the end, thank you.

Laters!

Aaaaah!

Really? It's Thursday already? That means I missed Random Tuesday Thoughts. Damn it. I really don't know where my week has gone, I've been so busy this is the first chance I've had to sit down at the puter for more than five minutes. It's been crazy.

So my Drunken Midget came home from the cabin and 'unpacked' and now it looks like a Laundromat vomited in my living room. To be honest my whole house is utterly trashed, it's so sad. It will take me forever to clean it up. And the entire house needs to be spotless soon for inspections. I'm so tired of apartment inspections I could scream. We only have them twice a year, but it seems like they are forever coming in and judging my housekeeping skills inspecting.

*sigh*

I am just so rushed and I have so much to do I don't know where to start. Arrgh.

Well, I'd better get back to business.

Laters!

Quarantined

Ok, so my plans for the 4th were canceled due to the fact that I have the plague. So, I'm home by myself for the next 5 days. So far I've been watching a lot of Burn Notice. My grandma has claimed Jeffery Donovan (Michael Weston) as her tv bf and I'd fight her for him, but, well, she's like 80, and to be honest I'm pretty sure she'd kick my ass. (I just had a mental image of my grandma doing Jiu Jitsu on my ass and it was quite funny. *giggles*) So I'll have to settle for Gabriel Anwar (Fiona). She's a bit too skinny for my tastes but fatten her up with a couple dozen cheeseburgers and she'd be quite fine.

Other than that I'm not sure what I'll do. Well, there is the projectile vomiting but that's never any fun unless you're into the whole 2 Girls and a Cup thing-which btw I haven't watched personally, only heard about.

I'd write, but banging my head against the keyboard hasn't inspired any creativity so maybe I'll graduate to a hammer. A screwdriver to the eye might work quite well too.

So I'm not sure how I'll pass my time this weekend. I feel rather caged, like I want to crawl out of my skin.

And really, that's all I have to say.

Laters!

A Bunch of Random This and That

My to-do list is about 8 miles long and I'm soooo procrastinating right now. I keep saying, oh, I'll start after this, or I'll get to it after that, but oh, I need to blog first, etc. etc. Luckily we aren't leaving till tomorrow and I have all day to do it all, but still I need to get started soon. *sigh* But, it will be worth it once we get up there. At least I don't have to do laundry. I was all, 'Goddess, please, I just need 5 clean shirts and I'm good' and sure enough I had them, which is totally awesome cuz I loathe doing laundry.

My grandma flew in last night from CA so we went over to my rents and were able to see her and my bro and sis-in-law came with my nephews so I got to see them as well. That was nice. My uncle and his bf flew in last night too but they went straight to the cabin so we won't see them until tomorrow.

Though I will be bringing my netbook, I'm not sure if I'll have time to blog while we're away, but I plan to try. Though, we all bring our computers up with us so finding time to blog when there's a lull in activity can be challenging. It's like as soon as we have a free minute everyone heads to the kitchen with their puter. It's like a mosh pit with no music. Though, I think they have wireless up there now, so that may not be an issue.

I kept having dreams last night that would have made great short stories, but since I didn't wake myself up all the way and write them down, I forgot them all. I really need to try to force myself awake when I dream like that. I can use all the help I can get with my writing right now.

The youngest has actually been entertaining herself quite nicely since she finished summer school. Oh, I still have to drive her all over the planet, but that's ok, it's part of my job description. I'm just glad there aren't anymore midnight premieres she wants to see anytime soon. When she has been home she's been reading or playing with her iTouch so she hasn't been asking me to constantly entertain her, which has been soooo beyond awesome.

I'm really hoping she has a good time at the cabin this weekend. Last time she had a miserable time which made it pretty miserable for everyone involved. Maybe since there will be more people up there to keep her occupied she will have a better time. And my rent's friend's are bringing their boat onto our lake so the Midgets can go water skiing and tubing, so she's excited about that. That's when I get to sit back, revel in my laziness and just watch, cuz I'm not much for water sports.

All right, I'd better get to my list. *drags feet*

Laters!