Apocalypse 2011Update: Apparently when I heard 6 p.m. that was the time it will be in New Zealand where the first earthquake will supposedly happen. That would be 1 a.m. CST.
I'm skipping Fawk You Friday to bring you this special Apocalypse Post. If I survive the end of the world, I'll be back with all my Fawk You's next week.
Ok, so is everyone ready for the end of the world? I heard that it's ending at 6 p.m. on Saturday. Did everyone else hear 6 too? Just wondering. I wouldn't want to be late for the Apocalypse.
So, I would be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I said I wasn't
Logically speaking, I really don't think it's going to end. I mean, how many times has some religious nutjob predicted the end of the world? Far too many. But, you just never know. Maybe this particular nutjob has a direct line to Jesus, who gave him a friendly heads up.
|Billie Joe Armstrong|
|Zombie Billie Joe Armstrong?|
*Jeopardy tune plays softly*
Ok, now that you've done that, back to my Apocalypse anxiety.
Do you know that there is not an actual psychological term for fear of the Apocalypse? From what I've read, fear of death (thanatophobia) is the nearest term there is. Go figure.
My eldest Drunken Midget has inherited my fear of the Apocalypse and I spent part of last night trying to comfort her. She is spending Saturday with her dad, and let me tell you, if the world ends and I don't get to see her beforehand cuz she was with him, I'm so going to haunt his ass. Or if I get turned into a zombie, he will be the first person I eat. There's actually a lot of people I'd like to eat if I ever get turned into a zombie. Like the woman at Goodwill who asked me if I qualify for their senior citizen's discount (WTF?? I'm 38 for fuck's sake!). I really should make a list.
|I'll be a child left behind. :(|
If the world does end I'm gonna be
All right, well, I'm outta here for now. Maybe forever. (Unless they have wifi in hell) I'm going to try and be Zen about the whole Apocalypse thing. If it happens, it happens. There's nothing I can do to stop it. And if there's zombies I know I'll fail the #1 Rule of Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness: Cardio. I'm so out of shape I could never outrun a zombie so no matter what happens, I'll pretty much just taste delicious.